Summer series: Grief

I’ve thought about, studied and experienced grief for a long time. Here are some seemingly simple universal truths I’ve learned. 

Grief never looks the same from person to person.

Grief does not follow a logical path. 

Grief can come and go.

Grief happens not only when someone dies, but when we experience the loss of a dream, a relationship, an expectation. 

Denial of grief doesn’t always feel like denial and can last a long time. 

Our western society and the people in it do not do the best job of supporting those grieving.

Trauma and grief often go hand in hand.

Grief is a chapter in every human story.

A film by Rhyme & Reason feat. Tom Zuba Tom Zuba is living with the death of his brother Danny, his wife Trici, his daughter Erin, and his son Rory. DIRECTORS - Lexi Read & Zach Read WRITERS - Lexi Read & Tom Zuba PERFORMED by Tom Zuba DP/EDITOR - Zach Read MUSIC - Lone by Kino POEM: The death of someone we love cracks us open. It's our invitation to become the person we were born to be. Four times, Four times falling into the deepest, Darkest, Seemingly hopeless pit of despair. The numbing, the repressing, The stuffing every feeling and every emotion in order to survive. I didn't know any better. How could I? Of course I contemplated suicide, More than once. I wanted to die. The pain was that painful. The darkness that dark. Until in the deepest, darkest stillness, I heard a voice. So quiet, and soft, and tentative, So fragile, A whisper really. 'Or you could choose to live', 'You could choose to live.' I don't know how long I lay there, Mulling over my two options, Life or death. Peace or pain. Love or fear. I listened. I listened, And the whisper grew. It grew louder and it grew stronger. And it became clear. That life, life itself had other plans for me. I chose to live. I choose to live. A tiny, tiny flickering white light at my tunnels end set itself ablaze, Life itself was whispering, 'I am not done with you.' Healing became my journey, my intention, my vision. We were not born to suffer, That's not why we came. We are each stronger than we think, stronger than we know, Than we believe. We have walked through fire, And we can do it again and again and again. As people who have welcomed with open arms and open hearts, The darkness, the pain, the sorrow, the light, the love, the joy. We are not weak, far from it. We have said 'Yes'. To life, To love, To our very selves, To be cracked open, And to radiantly becoming the people we were born to be. We were born to be radiant. That's why we came. That's who we are.

I was introduced to filmmaking duo Lexi and Zach Read of Rhyme & Reason this year through my congenital heart disease community. Their films are breathtaking. I wanted to share this one with you today.